My Mr Turtle Truth or Dare
by Dragonblooded
Summary: The title says it all: a truth or dare story for the characters of My Mr. Turtle by Andrea O'Down. Rules are inside; please abide by them when submitting truths or dares. Otherwise, enjoy, and beware the unicorns! My Mr. Turtle and its OC characters belong to Andrea O'Down; I use them with her permission. Requires a basic knowledge of 'My Mr. Turtle' plot and characters.
1. Unicorns and Show Tunes

Our favorite four turtles sat cross-legged in the lair, peering at their hands of cards.

"Do you have any threes?" Leo asked.

Raph grumbled to himself angrily and put the three of spades on the ground. Leo closed his eyes and put a card face-down next to it. He opened his eyes and flipped it over. It was the two of hearts. He snorted and Raph grinned as he took the cards and put them in his hand.

Donnie tapped his chin thoughtfully and moved the five of hearts from atop the six of spades to the six of clubs. He threw a black poker chip in the air, caught it, and carefully studied the side that had landed up. He placed the chip on top of the five of hearts and examined the cards once more.

Mikey threw a group of cards in the air, shaking one off when it landed on his face. He quickly tossed a rubber ball in the air and frantically picked up the cards on the floor, making panicky noises when he couldn't get his fingers under the card. He caught the ball and examined the cards in his hand, which were the two of clubs, the five of clubs, and the ace of diamonds. "Eight." He muttered. Mikey dropped the cards and threw the ball in the air again, once again proceeding to snatch up cards.

Mrs. Sparkling Hair sat on the floor next to Mikey, a small hand of cards balanced on her hands. The ball hit her in the face and rolled off to who-knows-where. For a moment nothing happened, but then the unicorn toppled backwards, the perfectly poised cards tumbling all over her face.

Leo suddenly looked up from his hand. "What game are we playing?" he asked.

Donnie glanced up at him with a confused expression. "I have no idea." He answered.

For a moment the four looked around in confusion, Mikey holding two blue poker chips before his eyes, when suddenly the scene exploded in a cloud of glittery baby pink smoke.

* * *

The glitter clouds dissipated to show a hardwood stage like that of a school auditorium, framed by thick maroon curtains. A spotlight whirled around wildly before focusing on the turtles' faces. The four mutants were in big clunky charcoal gray chairs, their wrists strapped to the armrests.

"Where are we?" Donnie asked, looking around him with wide eyes. He leaned forward as far as the chair would allow and asked, "Are those…cameras?"

"I think so." Leo replied, "Look at the audience."

Donnie followed his instructions and cocked his head in confusion. "Unicorns?" he said.

"Yep. Unicornia unicorns." Leo decreed.

"AAAAAAAAH!" Mikey screamed, thrashing against his bonds, "WHAT IS GOING ONNNNNNNN?!"

Raph grunted and pulled against the straps. "Let us out!" he shouted.

A voice off-stage laughed. "Now why would we do that?" it giggled. Mikey opened his mouth to answer. "Don't answer that. It was a rhetorical question." It clarified.

Mikey made a face that can only be presumed meant confused. A light fluttery giggle emanated from offstage. Loud clopping noises followed it, getting louder and louder until a unicorn cantered onto stage. Its coat was a dazzling gold that reflected the spotlights blindingly. Its mane and tail were forest green with raspberry highlights. Big puce eyes scanned the crowd, twinkling happily.

"Hello fans of My Mr. Turtle!" she exclaimed, "My name is Goldenbloom, and I will be your hostess!" The crowd cheered and clapped wildly until the 'Applause' sign next to Goldenbloom shut off. "Thank you, thank you, I love you all!" she shouted, blowing kisses with her fore-hoof, "Now, I assume these five need no introduction." The crowd whooped and whistled again.

"Five?" Donnie asked, looking around, "There are only four of us, five plus you."

"OH! Silly me, I forgot to wheel her out!" Goldenbloom proclaimed with a giggle. She clapped her front hooves twice quickly before slamming them back on the stage to stop wobbling. "Ooh, dizzy." She said, swaying slightly.

Two dark gray unicorns with scarlet manes nudged forward a metal chair matching the turtles' on top of a wheeled platform with their muzzles. They stopped when it was level with Donnie's. Then they bit the platform and ripped it out from underneath the chair, causing the occupant to scream as the chair freefell momentarily.

"Thanks, guys!" Goldenbloom called, waving at the horses. They nodded brusquely and walked away. "Everybody say 'hi' to Aprrrrriiillll O'Neeeeeiiiilllll!" she declared like a wrestling match announcer.

The crowd applauded happily until the 'Applause' sign shut off. "Umm…hi." April said, waving gently at the wrist, which was all the restraints would allow.

"Why are we here?!" Donnie shouted, suddenly agitated.

"Geez, geez, cool down. Don't get your shell in a twist!" Goldenbloom said, "All in good time. But now, we have to introduce our protagonist." The crowd was silent, staring with intent anticipation.

"Please give a warm Unicornia welcome to the one, the only, Madelyn Dearing!" Goldenbloom shouted, "Bring her out, boys!" Nothing happened. Goldenbloom cleared her throat. "I _said, _bring her out, boys!" she cried. A cricket chirped. The 'Applause' sign sparked.

Goldenbloom sighed and facehoofed. "Do I have to do everything myself?" she grumbled as she walked off stage. The five hostages looked around, wondering where the eccentric pony went to.

"Actually, we're not wondering where she went, we're just happy she's gone." Raph corrected.

Strained grunts could be heard from offstage. Slowly, another chair on another wheeled platform inched into the light. The wheels screeched each time it moved. Goldenbloom made a whiny grunt with each screech. Finally, she stopped, and made one last noise as she jerked the platform out from under the chair. The chair flew in the air and flipped once before landing upright. The small child trapped within shrieked and whimpered.

The unicorn snorted, blew her mane bangs out of her face (only to have them fall right back where they were), and stalked back over to her spot next to the 'Applause sign. "There." She stated, "Now we have a perfect half-moon." She traced the semi-circle in the air with her hooves rapidly before planting them firmly on the stage. She lifted one and put it to her forehead. "Ooooooh, this must be a merry-go-round stage or something." She said.

"Madelyn!" Leo and April cried simultaneously. April pulled her hands back against her bonds, trying to fit her skinny wrists through. Leo jumped to his feet with a great burst of energy, taking the chair with him. He then yelped as he fell forward, the chair now on top of him.

"Oh, well we can't have that." Goldenbloom cooed. She walked over to Leo. She turned her head to April and proclaimed, "By the way, that won't work. We made the bands extra-small for you and Maddie."

The horse turned around and kicked Leo's chair. It jerked up momentarily, and then fell back down again, smashing his face into the stage. He groaned loudly.

"Stupid gravity." Goldenbloom muttered. She stepped back, and suddenly she went up in a cloud of glittery baby pink smoke. When the smoke cleared, Goldenbloom had morphed. She stood in a humanoid form, with shiny gold ears poking through her long mauve-and-emerald hair. Her hair reached down to the bottom of her ribcage in a side ponytail of ringlets. Her tail hung like a normal horse's, curving gracefully millimeters before it brushed the floor. Her watermelon bangs slanted halfway into her right eye.

"That's better." She proclaimed, shaking her head. Goldenbloom brushed off her skirt and brought her foot up to examine her boot. She wore a puce top with a sweetheart neckline and a white-and-green plaid skirt. It was belted around the waist with a strand of bronzy blossoms, and a gold flower surrounded by vines and leaves was embellished on the skirt's corner. The boots were white-dark green plaid as well, but only the tips showed. From the top of the shin down a baby pink flared pant leg of sorts covered her leg. Goldenbloom's right hand cupped a raspberry pink hibiscus with a white stybus (the rod in the center). A forest green vine with little leaves on it coiled up her arm to her elbow.

"Cute!" she declared. Leo moaned from underneath his chair. "Oh yeah." Goldenbloom said, "I forgot about you."

"I feel so appreciated." Leo mumbled into the floor. The audience laughed until the 'Laugh at Leo's Lame Jokes' sign blinked off.

"Well, I guess the show isn't going to get very far if you keep kissing the floor, now is it?" Goldenbloom joked. The audience laughed until the 'Laugh at Goldenbloom's Lame Jokes' sign shut off.

"Hey! Why do I have a 'Lame Jokes' sign?!" Goldenbloom protested, "We all know why Leo does, but why me?!"

"Would you _please _stop insulting me and get this chair off my back?" Leo asked.

"Please help Mr. Turtle, Miss Unicorn Lady!" Madelyn begged.

"Oh, don't worry, I will, sweetie." Goldenbloom reassured, "And by the way, the name's Goldenbloom. Goldie if you'd like."

Goldie held up the hand with the flower in it. The stybus glowed, and thin ribbons of pink smoke trailed from it. The ribbons wrapped around Leo's chair, lifted it into the air, righted it, and set it back down.

"There we go. All better." Goldenbloom said.

"Not really." Raph retorted, "Still don't know why we're here."

"Why, you're here for a Truth or Dare show!" Goldenbloom declared with a giggle, "Isn't it obvious?"

"NO!" Raph shouted.

"Well it should be!" Goldenbloom yelled back. She closed her puce eyes, took a deep breath, and mumbled, "Inside voice, Goldie, inside voice." She opened her eyes and proclaimed with an almost-shouting voice, "Before we can get on with the Truth or Dare, we must give thanks to someone very special, without whom there wouldn't be this story."

Goldenbloom threw her arms in the air and exclaimed, "Andrea O'Down!" Rainbow confetti and white balloons rained from the sky. Goldenbloom laughed and twirled, sticking her tongue out to catch confetti. Leo knocked a balloon reading 'Andrea O'Down' away from his head, with his head. Madelyn giggled and head-butted a balloon with a silver tiger portrait to Mikey, who bounced it back. Raph snarled and tried to bite a balloon with a brunette duck photograph on it.

Goldenbloom cheered, "We love ya, Andrea! Creator of My Mr. Turtle, plus Mr. Dearing, Marcus, Billy, and all of them! And without you, Madelyn wouldn't be who she is today!"

"What's with the tigers and ducks and girls?" Donnie asked, watching a balloon with some girl's portrait on it float by.

"Oh, those?" Goldenbloom replied, "Those are Andrea's avatars." She put on a loud voice and announced, "Once again, thank you Andrea, for letting us use your wonderful story and characters! The My Mr. Turtle fanfiction and all characters but our guys, April, and…" Goldenbloom bowed. "…moi belong to Miss Andrea."

Goldenbloom clapped, crushing the flower in her hand. She glared at it in annoyance until it sprang back into place. She hefted the flower into the air, and once more pink smoke emanated from it. It spelled out a long paragraph of words. The smoke vanished with a poof, and bold black letters were left in its place.

"Why is everything backwards?" Mikey asked.

"We're seeing it from behind, Mikey." Donnie declared in an annoyed voice.

"Ohhh." Mikey said in recognition. Donnie facepalmed by bending his head down to his chained hand.

"If the prisoners…oh, I mean _guests_…would stop jabbering…" Goldenbloom decreed, glaring pointedly at Mikey and Donnie. Donnie drew his head back up and they both quieted. "Thank you." Goldenbloom said, "As I was saying, these are the rules for our Truth or Dare. You can read ahead if you want, but I'm going to explain them out loud for the benefit of the six who can't read backwards."

**Rules**

**Please do note that just because an event occurs within the Truth or dare, this does not guarantee that it will not happen differently in ****My Mr. Turtle****. **

"Yeah, I probably should've said that earlier…" Goldenbloom mumbled.

**1. Truths or dares can be made out to the six characters present, Goldenbloom, or any other characters that appear in ****My Mr. Turtle****. Truths or dares can be sent to characters from Unicornia and Space Heroes as well. In addition, you can request a certain character's appearance without a dare for them.**

Goldenbloom stepped out in front of the words and glared at them. "You're all going to dare me to do horrible stuff, aren't you?" she asked without turning to the audience. Some nodded and raised their hooves. She sighed. "Knew it."

**2. Stick to the ****My Mr. Turtle ****canon. Be as accurate as possible. **

"Alright, that one should be kind of self-explanatory." Goldenbloom proclaimed, "Know your stuff, people."

**3. Keep the truths and dares within a K-K+ rating. Remember, there is a seven-year-old present. Nothing more than kissing in a romantic sense, and keep the violence down to a minimum.**

"I'm the seven-year-old, aren't I?" Madelyn asked.

"Well, the other five here are in the fifteen-sixteen range and I'm not telling you how old I am, so yeah, that's you." Goldie answered.

**4. The mainly supported pairings are Apritello, LeoxApril, Lerai, and MadelynxMarcus. All pairings will be respected and used though. Note that Karai does not actually appear and therefore cannot be questioned, but she is alluded to. **

"Wait…Leo and April…what?" April asked, looking at Leo.

He shrugged and answered, "I dunno."

"And Apritello…what is that…me and…?" April wondered aloud.

"Ha ha ha, why are we listening to an insane unicorn mutant anyway?!" Donnie giggled nervously.

"I am not a mutant!" Goldenbloom shrieked, "And I prefer the term 'extremely passionate'!" Donnie and Raph both snorted and rolled their eyes.

"Marcus is here?!" Madelyn asked, looking around her wildly.

Goldenbloom shouted, "LET'S ALL JUST BE QUIET AND READ THE NEXT ONE, ALRIGHT?!"

Raph smirked. "Extremely passionate, alright."

**5. No plain questions for Madelyn. She already has her own ask-blog on tumblr. **

"I do?" Madelyn asked.

"Yeah." Goldenbloom replied, "It was set up by Andrea O'Down." The audience cheered at her name until the 'Applause' sign blinked off.

"I don't know anyone named Andrea." Madelyn declared, "I know someone named April!" She looked at April, who smiled and waved at the wrist.

Goldenbloom laughed and said, "We all do, Maddie."

**6. Sends truths or dares by PM. Guests please encourage an account-owning friend of yours to PM in your dares or create an account. **

Goldie giggled nervously, "Yeah, _apparently _review-submitted dares break The Fifth Fanfiction Commandment, so try and use Private Messaging. Pretty pretty please! Otherwise we can't use your truths or dares.

Mikey shouted, "Okay, everyone send in review dares so we don't have to do them!"

"Oh, please don't!" Goldenbloom begged, "I don't want to go to jail, or worse...back to the padded room! The people in the white jackets are so MEAN! And they have long pointy needles and they take your magic flowers away!" She began to whimper and cry hysterically.

"Why am I not surprised that girlie's been in the nuthouse?" Raph asked.

Goldenbloom's pointed ears suddenly flattened against the top of her head like a cat's would. With a random mood swing, she shrieked, "YOU BE QUIET RAPHAEL! I HAVE A MAGIC HIBISCUS AND I'M NOT AFRIAD TO USE IT!"

April chuckled uncomfortably and asked, "Why don't we move on?" "Before our kidnapper has another mood swing..." she added softly.

Goldenbloom grinned cheerily and exclaimed, "Great idea, April!"

**7. Be creative with your dares. Song dares are greatly encouraged!**

"Yeah! I was waiting for this one!" Goldenbloom cheered with a fist-pump, "Who wants to hear Raph sing Taylor Swift?!" The crowd whooped without the encouragement of a sign.

"Umm…how do I put this so that a blonde horse will understand…?" Raph muttered, "NO!"

"YES!" Goldie shouted back, "Actually, that applies to this next one."

**8. Truths or dares cannot and will not be avoided, upon punishment from the wheel. **

"What is, 'The Wheel'?" Leo asked, making air quotes with his tied-down hands.

"I'm glad you asked!" Goldenbloom cheered, "Because now it's time for…" The crowd shouted with her. "The WHEEL! OF! PUNISHMENT!" A large wheel that looked suspiciously like the Wheel of Fortune turned on its side rose up out of the floor.

"So, if anyone of you decides to be a _total butt-headed buzz-kill_, you will have to endure one of the tasks from upon this wheel. No backsies." Goldenbloom declared, "Each slip has a key word on it. Upon seeing this word, I will connect it to your punishment and then force you to do it. For example…" She plucked a white triangle off the wheel, opened it into a long diamond, and shrieked.

"I told Dragonblooded not to put this one!" she cried.

"What?!" Donnie asked in a panicky tone, "What is it?! What does it say?!"

Goldenbloom sighed and turned the paper around, spinning in a circle to show everyone. The other side was colored like parchment paper, emblazoned with the word '**TURTLE**' in big bold letters.

"What the heck does 'turtle' mean?" Raph asked, an angry tone creeping into his voice. Obviously, the goldie pony was getting on his nerves. "You got that right." He grumbled.

"That could mean anything." Donnie said.

"It means…" Goldenbloom started in a squeaky tone. She cleared her throat and continued. "It means…that whoever gets this punishment has to eat…a bucketful of turtle soup." The six upon stage, as well as the audience gasped in horror.

A terrified squeak slipped out of Mikey's throat and through his mouth, which was hanging wide open. Donnie fainted in his chair, and April ignored her disgust to look at him with concern, evidently wishing her hands were unbound so she could help him.

"How do you know that?" she asked.

Leo gulped and stared at his feet. Raph's eyes were replaced by cartoony flames as he struggled against the chair's wristbands. Goldenbloom giggled awkwardly and slid the paper back into its pocket. "Let's put that one back, shall we?" she said.

"People eat turtles?!" Madelyn gasped in repulsion.

Goldenbloom ignored the question and clapped twice. The rules exploded in puffs of sparkly pink dust,and the wheel sank back into the stage. She held up her magical flower and tapped her foot until it snapped back into place. "Alright!" she proclaimed, "Now we have some examples. First, an example truth."

Loopy black print scrolled across the curtains, spawned by the supernatural pink tendrils; up the left side of the stage, across the top, and then down the right side.

_**Dragonblooded:**_** Tell Madelyn 'Mr. Turtle's real name. **

"Alrighty then." Goldenbloom declared, turning to Madelyn. She pointed at Leo. "His name is Leo." She stated, "Leonardo, actually. Hamato Leonardo, actually."

"I think she gets it!" Leo exclaimed.

"Yeah, I get it…" Madelyn, suddenly shy, mumbled under her breath, "I like that name." Leo smiled.

"And that is the demo truth. Now we have an example dare." Goldenbloom decreed. She snickered. "I like this one."

_**Dragonblooded: **_**Have Madelyn sing 'Let It Go' from 'Frozen'. **

"Ooh! I like that song!" Madelyn exclaimed. Her excitement paled into a face of horror as she realized she would have to sing it in front of a huge crowd.

"But not enough to sing it in front of a huge crowd, right?" Goldie said, reading Madelyn's mind. Madelyn nodded. "Well, too bad!" Goldenbloom cried. She held up the mauve flower, and once more pinky glitter oozed from it. A large circle in the center of the stage twisted with a loud squeaky creak. Now, instead of the semicircle of chairs on the left and Goldenbloom on the right, the arch of chairs was in the back and Goldenbloom stood in the front.

The glimmering pink unhooked Madelyn's restraints and shooed her toward where Goldenbloom stood. A microphone appeared in the unicorn's hand. She proffered it to Madelyn, who warily accepted it. "Do you know the words?" Goldie asked. Madelyn nodded again.

Goldenbloom looked to the audience and stated, "Dragonblooded does not own the song 'Let It Go' or the movie 'Frozen'. They belong to Idina Menzel, Demi Lavato, and Disney." She skipped toward the right hand corner of the stage. Goldenbloom passed Madelyn's empty chair and skipped by April, patting her head and proclaiming, "Duck."

She pranced by Donnie and tapped his head, stating, "Duck."

Goldie paraded behind Leo's chair and smacked her palm against his head. "Duck." She decreed.

Next she passed behind Mikey and whacked his head. 'Duck." They said simultaneously.

"Jinx!" Mikey shouted.

Goldenbloomed frolicked up to Raph and moved to pat his head, declaring, "Duck." He dodged her hand. She gave him an irritated look and attempted to hit him again, and again missed. The unicorn wrestled with Raph, finally pinning him by his neck to the chair back with her right forearm. She smacked him hard on the head and shouted, "DUCK!"

Raph rolled his eyes. She smiled, let him up, and cantered over to a baby grand piano that the pink wisps had magically created. Goldenbloom sat on the bench, cracked her fingers, and poised them over the keys. With a giggle, she hit a button on the board behind the ivories and decreed, "Goose!" The music to the song floated out from speakers strategically placed around the auditorium. She spun around on her seat, tucked her knees up, and watched Madelyn intently.

The young girl nervously glanced around the room. She clutched the microphone tight, turning her fingers a pasty ash. The mic head was very close to her lips. She closed her eyes and gripped the microphone even tighter, if that was physically possible. She was slightly late starting the song. Without the microphone held near, she wouldn't have been heard.

_The snow glows white on the mountain tonight_

_Not a footprint to be seen _

Madelyn started slightly early the next time, but was closer to her mark. She sang louder, at about a speaking voice's volume.

_A kingdom of isolation_

_And it looks like I'm the queen_

The next phrase she hit perfectly. Her voice rose continuously in volume. Madelyn began to throw in more trills and runs, matching Elsa's singing more closely.

_The wind is howling like the swirling storm insi-ide_

_Couldn't keep it in; heaven knows I tried_

The girl's grip on the microphone hilt relaxed. She brought it farther from her face, yet became louder.

_Don't let them in_

_Don't let them see_

_Be the good girl you always have to be_

_Conceal, don't feel_

_Don't let them knoooooow_

_Well now they knooooooow_

Madelyn's eyes flashed open, and a small smile crossed her lips.

_Let it go-o_

_Let it go-o_

_Can't hold it back anymore_

Madelyn started to walk the stage. On the last line, she crossed her arms in front of her chest and threw them outward.

_Let it go-oo_

_Let it go-oo_

_Turn away and slam the door_

She turned on her heel and swiped her skirt out from behind her, as if to keep it from being caught in a door frame. Madelyn planted her feet and held one hand over her arm before throwing her arm out in emphasis.

_I don't caaarre_

_What they're going to say_

_Let the storm rage oooooon_

She grinned mischievously and turned her back to the audience, flipping her hair nonchalantly over her shoulder.

_The cold never bothered me anyway_

Madelyn walked back to center stage, tapping her foot to the interlude. Her face lit up as she got an idea. She whirled around and walked toward the chairs behind her.

_Funny how some distance_

She turned around and pinched her thumb and index finger in front of your eye, like you do when you are measuring something far away.

_Makes everything seem sma-all_

Madelyn reeled back around and plowed on.

_And the fears that once controlled me_

She swung a hand in front of her, pushing an invisible object out of her way.

_Can't get to me at a-all-ll_

Madelyn started jogging and singing, a very difficult thing to do for an adult, let alone a child.

_It's time to see_

_What I can do_

Madelyn once again shoved at an unseen barrier.

_To test the limits and break through_

_No right_

_No wrong_

_No rules for mee-eeee_

The child arrived at her destination before the row of chairs. She stepped to the side so that she wasn't standing in front of anyone and turned to face front. She spread her arms wide, forced to bend one to hold the microphone, looking like the freest person who ever lived.

_I'm freeeeeee_

Madelyn held the microphone out to Leo. He looked bewildered, but didn't have much time to think. Very panicky, he leaned forward slightly and sang the next line, forgetting to hold the last word.

_Let it go_

Madelyn used the extra time to zip past Donnie to April. She thrust the microphone out to her. She beamed and belted out the line.

_Let it goooooo_

Madelyn snatched back the mic and twirled to her next target.

_I am one with the wind and sky-y-y _

She stopped and offered the microphone to Donnie. He picked up the next line with surprising ease for someone who had most likely never heard the song.

_Let it goooooo_

Madelyn leapt over to Mikey and bowed slightly as she put forward the microphone. He grinned ear to ear and leaned over the mic, singing exuberantly.

_Let it goooooo_

The girl whipped around and smiled so happily, you could never believe that she had ever wept in her lifetime.

_You'll never see me cry-yyyy_

She moved away from the chairs and stamped her left foot.

_He-ere I sta-and_

Madelyn stomped her right foot.

_And he-ere I stay_

She held out one arm and twirled in a circle.

_Let the storm rage ooo-oonnn_

Madelyn had obviously gotten into the song. She stalked over to Goldenbloom, perched next to the untouched piano. Madelyn whirled and did pirouettes for the rest of the interlude. In the middle of a pirouette she dramatically stomped and stared straight into a camera lens. She slowly drew an arm through the air above her head, and then below her, gesturing towards the floor.

_My power flurries through the air into the ground_

Madelyn stomped again in time with the low beat.

_My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all a-rou-ound_

She slammed her foot on the stage. At the end of the statement, she thrust her free hand out and splayed her fingers to show an explosion.

_And one thought crystallizes like an icy blaaast_

Madelyn stomped one last time.

_I'm never goin' back _

She tipped back her head, closed her eyes, and spread her arms wide.

_The past is in the pa-aaaaaaaaaast_

Leo whooped and hollered as she held the long note. April cheered. Donnie whistled loudly. Mikey shouted, "Go Maddie!" Raph said nothing, but he smiled, a revolutionary concept for him. Soon the whole audience was on their feet stamping their hooves and giving a standing ovation, cheering all the while.

Madelyn broke off the note and grinned. She held out the microphone to Goldenbloom, who snatched it up in both hands, once more smashing her blossom, and sang proudly.

_Let it go-oooooooo_

She quickly returned the microphone to Madelyn, who brought it to Raph. He rolled his eyes at the little girl and sang.

_Let us go-oooooo_

Madelyn frowned at the lyric change, but otherwise ignored it. Goldenbloom, who had sat back down, smiled mischievously, holding her flowered hand behind her back. As Madelyn sang the line, smoky sparkly pink ribbons crept across the left side (right side to Maddie) of her skirt and the right shoulder (again reversed) of her top, making a crackling sound. When they cleared, listening fingers of frost reached out where they had been.

_And I'll rise like the break of daaw-aw-awn_

The young girl beamed at the ice on her clothes and twirled so they caught the light while she sang.

_Let it gooooooo_

_Let it gooooooo_

Madelyn swept her hand on the last word.

_That perfect girl is go-onnnne_

She had moved to center stage. She stamped a foot and declared.

_Here I sta-aand_

A bright spotlight focused on her. The five behind her squinted their eyes, and Goldenbloom ineffectively attempted to cover her radioactively reflective coat with her gleaming arms. Madelyn grinned and closed her eyes, spreading her arms again.

_In the light of da-ayyyy-ay-ayyyyyy_

The spotlight shut off, but Madelyn didn't move.

_Let the storm rage ooonnnnnn_

The child stared down the audience and shrugged.

_The cold never bothered me anyway_

She wheeled around and slowly walked back to her chair. A unicorn in the audience clacked their hoof every time she stepped. The second Madelyn sat down, the entire audience jumped to their feet and applauded, whistling and cheering. Goldenbloom hopped to her feet, too; Mikey attempted to, but his chair jerked him back down, slamming his head into the metal.

"That. Was. A-MA-ZING!" Goldenbloom cried. She snapped, and the microphone vanished. Madelyn's wrist bands snapped back in place. The child started to protest, but Goldie turned around and ignored her.

She exclaimed, "That's all the time we have today! Thank you all for coming! Send in your truths, message your dares, and ALWAYS remember…"

The page went black.


	2. Makeovers and Grazi-Gorgeous

All that could be seen was a deep black, reflecting the camera lens back at it, creating an infinite stack of increasingly smaller camera lens reflections. Blurbs of mauve appeared around it. For less than a second, the screen flashed a blinding gold before returning to the puce-edged black. The image shrunk slightly, showing some white and more gold, until it could be recognized as an eye.

Slowly the image shrunk until the head of Goldenbloom the humanoid unicorn grinned at the camera. She waved her flowered hand happily and cheered, "Hello!"

The screen went up in pink smoke. When the clouds dissipated, Goldenbloom was standing at the edge of the stage, the half-moon of trapped characters to her left.

"Actually, it would be MY right." She corrected, "It's YOUR left."

Whatever. "Don't you 'whatever' me!" Goldie exclaimed, pointing a threatening finger at the sky, "I know where you live, DB!"

She sighed and put on a slightly-too-happy grin. She proclaimed, "Greetings, once again, and welcome to…!

The words My Mr. Turtle in sparkling blue lights dropped from the ceiling. 'Truth or Dare' appeared underneath the words in a fest of rainbow glitter clouds. For one minute the words dazzled and sparked. Then the thick 3D title drew back into the ceiling, the subtitle evaporated, and the 'Applause' sign turned off.

"Well, thank you, for stealing my thunder!" Goldenbloom exclaimed.

April raised a hand questioningly (as far as you can raise your hand when it's strapped to a chair, that is) and asked, "Excuse me, but who exactly are you talking to?"

Goldenbloom looked at her blankly. "I'm not exactly sure." She replied, "It's sort of a voice in my head. I _think _its name is Dragonblooded."

"Oh." April said, "That's nice."

"Isn't it?" Goldenbloom decreed, "ANYWAY, enough with the chitchat. You're not here for that. You're here to see me make my hostages…_guests_; they're _guests_, why can't I get that right?"

Mikey opened his mouth to answer. "Rhetorical question, Mikey!" she declared. He frowned and snapped his mouth shut, looking dejected.

"You all want to see _them_" Goldenbloom pointed to the six chained to their seats, "do ridiculously humiliating stuff, am I right?"

The audience cheered. "Alright!" Goldie exclaimed.

Her flower randomly started spewing pink smoke. Amid the pink smoke a note card shot out. "Thank you, Matilda." The bronzy unicorn stated, plucking the index card out of the air.

Raph gave her a strange look. "Your magic flower is named Matilda?" he asked.

"Yes." Goldie answered, giving Raph a 'No, duh' look, "What else would it be named?"

Raph deigned not to answer her. Goldenbloom snorted and blew her bangs out of her face (which subsequently fell right back where they started) and proclaimed, "Alright, first order of business."

She held up the white card, glanced at it, and threw it over her shoulder, where it disintegrated into-surprise, surprise-glittery pink smoke. The unicorn clasped her hands in front of her and stated, "To _aliengirl13_: yes, unicorns can get rabies. Rabies is a mammalian disease. Since unicorns are equestrian in nature and other equestrians such as horses and zebras can get rabies, creatures such as unicorns, pegasi, and hippocampi can succumb to the disease."

Goldenbloom angrily stamped her foot and shouted, "And NO, I do NOT! HAVE! _RABIES!_"

Large amounts of snickering could be heard to her left. "If you don't shut up, I'll dangle you from the ceiling!" She cried. The snickering quickly ceased.

"Thank you." Goldie said, "Okay, now onto the actual truth-dare-question thingies!"

The signature baby pink sparkle-clouds emanated from the raspberry-colored flower and wrote loopy words across the curtains framing the stage. When the vibrant steam cleared, the words still remained, written in a loopy black cursive.

_**aliengirl13: **_**Count how many times people dare Donnie and April to kiss…**

Donnie's face turned fire engine red. "Geez Donnie, are you SURE you're a turtle?" Goldie jested, "Because I can't see a lick of green on ya!"

The audience laughed loudly until the 'Laugh at Goldenbloom's Lame Jokes' sign blinked off. Goldenbloom frowned. "Really. Again with the sign?" she asked agitatedly.

She stomped over to stage left (our right) and snapped her non-flowered hand. A tall whiteboard rose from the ground. Atop it in pink Expo marker was the phrase 'Apritello Kiss Dares'. Below it was a T-chart, one side labeled 'Category' and one side labeled 'Tally'.

"Alright, here we have various different categories of measurement for the April-Donnie kiss dares…" Goldenbloom stated.

"This just keeps getting better and better…" Donnie muttered, his face darkening even more.

"First we have the 'Overall Kiss Dares' category, for which we have two tallies." Goldenbloom decreed, "Next we have the three location-based categories, 'Kiss on Lips' and 'Kiss on Cheek' and 'Kiss on Any Other Acceptable Location', like nose or something. We currently have one tally for lips, zero for cheek, and one for all other locations, because there was no specification on milieu."

"My, you're very specific…" April mumbled, glancing uncomfortably at Donnie, who had hidden his head in his hands.

Goldie looked at the ill at ease couple and grinned mischievously before continuing. "The next two categories are 'Donnie Kiss April' and 'April Kiss Donnie', of which we have zero for the first and one for the second, since obviously lip-to-lip would count as both."

"Will this never stop?" Donnie moaned softly. April awkwardly patted his hand, only making the situation worse for poor Donnie.

"Thank you, random narrating voice, for broadcasting my thoughts to the entire universe." Donnie decreed with sarcastic merriment.

"Oh. My. Gosh. Did Donnie just use a scientifically incorrect hyperbole?" Goldenbloom gasped. The audience gasped with her.

"Shut up." Donnie groaned.

Goldie ignored him and proclaimed with a now-devilish grin, "Okay, and the last category on the chart we have is 'Dares Utilized', meaning how many times I actually _make _Donnie and April kiss. There is one for that category."

Donnie sighed loudly. Suddenly his head shot up, his eyes wide. "One?!" he asked frantically. April's cotton candy eyes were wide too, having realized the implications of that statement.

"Didn't you guys see the ellipsis?" Goldie giggled.

"What's a…e-lip-sis?" Madelyn asked meekly, speaking for the first time that showing.

"You just used one!' Goldie cheered, "Those three dots in a sentence, you know, like this…?"

"Ohhh." Leo said, also speaking for the first time in one thousand and forty six words, "So _that's _what those are called."

Donnie waved his hands (at the wrist) frantically and exclaimed, "Okay, I love that you guys are learning, but what was that thing about making us kiss?!"

April shot Goldie a glare saying, "Yeah. What he said."

Goldenbloom giggled at their malicious glares and held up Matilda the magic hibiscus. The pinky haze swirled over the black phrase and replaced it, drifting off to the side instead of evaporating like it traditionally did.

_**aliengirl13: **_**…speaking of which…**

The Pepto Bismol-tinted steam swept back over the words, which metamorphosed yet again.

_**aliengirl13:**_**KISS ON DA LIPS!**

Donnie made a sickly moaning noise that sounded like he needed some Pepto Bismol…or ginger ale.

April stared at the floor uncomfortably. Raph smirked at the discomfort in the air. Madelyn cocked her head as if she didn't understand what the big deal was. Mikey grinned with genuine happiness, probably mentally chanting, "Do it. Do it. Do it…"

Leo also looked uncomfortably at the floor, most likely hoping it was he and Karai stuck in that situation. "No! No, I'm not!' he protested. Oh, so you are hoping you're in Donnie's place. I get it. "No! Where do you get these ideas?!" the blue-banded turtle cried, "Shut up!"

"Not to interrupt the awkwardness of this moment, but I'm kinda running on a schedule." Goldenbloom decreed, tapping her vine-clad wrist as if there were a watch there.

April's eyes lit up as she pointed out, "Actually, we _can't _do this dare. The chairs are too far apart, and you can't let us up."

"Easily fixed." Goldie proclaimed. Magic pink flower-smoke shoved the chairs together until the armrests touched. "See? Problem solved!" she exclaimed.

"Yay." April muttered, "So Donnie, do you want to just get it over wi-"

She was cut off when Donnie leaned over and kissed her on the lips. Her eyes widened to an impossible size. Just as her eyelids fluttered close, he backed away.

Goldie clicked the button on the baby pink stopwatch that had randomly appeared. "Five seconds!" she declared, "Hmph. I thought it'd be three at the most."

Donnie blushed, and April became randomly intrigued in the swinging of her feet. Goldenbloom frowned at the random loss of interest. "Harrumph. I thought it'd be happily ever after from there."

"Well, you thought wrong!' Raph exclaimed, "Now can we PLEASE move on?!"

"Geez, Raph. Aren't you excited?" Goldenbloom decreed, "Luckily, the next dare is for you!" She hefted Matilda into the air, which began spewing pink mist.

"Shoulda kept my mouth shut." Raph muttered.

"Yes." Leo declared, "Yes you should've."

"SHH!" Goldie exclaimed.

_**aliengirl13: **_**Would it kill you to smile? **

"Stuck with psycho-horse here, it very well could." Raph grumbled.

"I told you, I'm not psychotic! I'm extremely passionate!" Goldenbloom exclaimed, "Psychotic would be attacking you with or own sai or something."

Raph glanced around. "Now that you mention it," he asked, "Where are my sai?" The other teenagers looked around, their weapons having vanished as well. Madelyn, having had no weapon to lose, scoured the stage to see if she could spot a hidden polearm.

"Oh, somewhere." Goldie said knowingly.

_**aliengirl13: **_**NOW SING MEAN BY TAYLOR SWIFT!**

"I'm really starting to hate this girl…" Raph growled.

"I'll go get a microphone!' Goldenbloom cheered. She lifted Matilda. A microphone began forming above the stybus of the flower.

"No, you won't," Raph proclaimed, "Because I'm not singing."

"Oh, yes you are!" Goldie exclaimed, "Don't you remember Rule #8?"

Big bold letters covered the screen.

**8. Truths or dares cannot and will not be avoided, upon punishment from the wheel. **

At its mention, the 'WHEEL! OF! PUNISHMENT!' took the place of the 'Apritello Kiss Dares' chart at stage left, next to Goldenbloom.

"See? You _can't _refuse to sing." She decreed confidently, "It's not _allowed._"

"I don't care if it's allowed or not." Raph stated, "I am NOT singing 'Mean'."

Goldenbloom frowned. "Well, you could sing 'I Knew You Were Trouble', but I like 'Mean' better." She declared. The words wrapped across the curtains transformed without the assistance of magical smoke.

_**LeoFan: **_**I dare you to sing I knew you were trouble by Taylor Swift. :) **

"I'm not singing either of them." Raph said stubbornly.

Goldenbloom's frown deepened. "You know that means you have to answer to the Wheel." She proclaimed.

Raph nodded.

"You can't back out of a Wheel-dare." Goldie cautioned.

"I know." Raph decreed. He tried to cross his arms, but as they were manacled to a heavy chair, he couldn't.

"You could get anything." Goldie warned.

"Just spin the stupid Wheel because I am NOT singing Taylor Swift!" Raph yelled.

Goldenbloom's concerned frown turned to a manic smile. She gave a half-evil half-hysteric laugh. "I was just kidding about being all worried and stuff!" she exclaimed, skipping the few steps to the side of the Wheel, "I was hoping you would spin the Wheel!"

Raph snorted. The metallic horse scampered behind the Wheel. Soon her head appeared over top.

Leo looked to a camera and pointed at the Wheel. "In case you're wondering, there's a little stepstool behind that." He announced, "She's not levitating or anything."

"They don't have to know that." Goldie snarled, looking pointedly at him. She returned her attention to the audience. In an infomercial-announcer type voice, she pronounced, "Dragonblooded would like to inform _aliengirl13 _and _LeoFan _that their dares were not avoided due to disrespect of any sort, but merely because she could not choose between the two songs suggested."

Raph gave the horse a strange look. "What is that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"Never mind." She proclaimed, "Now let's spin the-say it with me now-" The audience complied and shouted, "The WHEEL! OF! PUNISHMENT!"

Goldenbloom grabbed the side of the wheel and spun it hard. It whirled around at lightning speed. The bronzy horse hung upside-down in front of the Wheel, watching the colors whip by. Her mauve-and-emerald hair dangled in thin ringlets in front of the wheel.

The unicorns in the audience watched the Wheel intently, their pupils and irises wheeling around on the whites of their eyes at matching speeds.

"That…" Leo declared, "Is freaky." April nodded slowly.

Suspenseful silence ensued as the wheel clackety-clacked round and round for what seemed like infinity. Finally, it slowed, and Goldenbloom drew her head upright. She swayed woozily and murmured, "Oh, hey. It's the return of the merry-go-round stage. Yay."

Ever so slowly the Wheel swapped between colored triangles: crimson, lime, navy, tan…

It slowed to a painstaking state and eventually stopped…right on the dividing line. One side was a bright violet. The other was a pure white. Everyone stared at horror at that card. They remembered what it read: **TURTLE**.

Goldenbloom giggled nervously and flicked the back of the Wheel. It shifted to the purple. She plucked the triangle off the Wheel, opened it, and grinned demonically. She showed off the word: **EYESHADOW**.

Raph stared at her, befuddled. "And that means…what, exactly?" he asked.

The humanoid unicorn laughed. "It means…" she sang "Raphie's getting a make-over!"

She giggled and clapped her hands, smashing Matilda. She pointed her crushed-flowered hand at the audience and exclaimed, "Even better, YOU get to decide who does it!" she cheered, "Me, or Madelyn."

"Now, put your vote in on those fancy audience-voting devices." Goldie commanded with a laugh, "I feel so special. DB knows the creator of these things. Awesome!"

Donnie scanned the crowd, where the audience was being passed golden keypads by a group of gray-pelted unicorns. "How is that information relevant?" he asked Goldenbloom.

"Oh, it's not." Goldie replied, "The results are in!"

Two names appeared at the bottom of the stage, 'Goldenbloom' and 'Madelyn'. Tall lime-green bars reached up from overtop their names. Madelyn's bar reached far higher than Goldenbloom's. Madelyn's name flashed brightly.

"Well then." Goldie grumbled. She clapped twice. The bar graph vanished, the Wheel sunk back into the stage, and a gray servant-unicorn wheeled out a tall filing cabinet type thing.

Goldenbloom waved to the equestrian and exclaimed, "Thank you, Tacitus!"

Tacitus grunted, nodded, and walked off stage, "Tacitus?" Mikey asked, "That's a funny name!"

"Not really." Goldie retorted, "Its Latin. It means 'silent'."

"Ohhh." The captives/guests said in sync.

"See! It makes sense now!" Goldenbloom cheered, "Besides, you don't have much room to speak, _Hamato Michelangelo_."

"Neither do you, _Goldenbloom_." Leo pointed out.

She snorted. "I'm not here to have my name made fun of." She decreed as Matilda unlocked Madelyn's wrist straps and shooed her over to the tall black case, "I'm here to force small children to give unwilling mutants makeovers."

"Hoo-rah." Raph muttered.

"See? Unwilling." Goldenbloom proclaimed, pointing at him. He snarled. She ignored him and turned to Madelyn. "This thing is chock-full of make-up." She explained, "I'm assuming you know what to do with it."

Madelyn nodded, eyeing the case excitedly. "Make Mr. Red look pretty?" she asked.

"Pretty as a princess." Goldie confirmed. Colored smoke tendrils nudged her and the wheeled case over to Raph. Once next to him, Madelyn immediately climbed on his lap and got to work with an eye-shadow brush.

"Alright, while she's doing that, I have some questions for April." Goldenbloom declared, holding up Matilda.

"Oh, lucky me." April said.

"I know, right!" Goldie cheered, "Now if everyone would look at the curtains…"

_**Vendetta:**_** What does your dad think of Casey?**

April made a thoughtful noise. "Y'know, I don't think they've met." She declared.

"Oh, well we can fix that." Goldenbloom proclaimed, clapping twice, "Tacitus! Placidus!"

Two of the charcoal-furred scarlet-maned unicorns pushed out two more heavy grey chairs, containing none other than Mr. O'Neil and Casey Jones.

"Dad!" April cried.

"Mr. O'Neil?!" Donnie asked confusedly, most likely wondering why this horse had him chained to a chair.

"Well, for convenience, of course!" Goldenbloom exclaimed, "Do you know how irritating it would be to have to go to New York City, kidnap…I mean borrow April's dad, and bring him all the way back here? And I'm not a horse! I'm a unicorn!"

She gestured to Casey. "Now getting him here was trouble enough."

Raph smirked at Casey. Donnie groaned.

"Yeah, um, where exactly is 'here'?" Casey asked.

"Yes, and are you really a unicorn?" Mr. O'Neil added.

Goldenbloom waved her hand. "Not important." She walked over to them. "Kirby, Casey. Casey, Mr. O'Neil." She snapped and called, "Okay, take 'em backstage!"

Tacitus and Placidus returned and dragged the two offstage.

"Okay, so _now _what does your dad think of Casey?" Goldie asked.

April sighed. "Next question, please."

"Alright." Goldie relented, obviously disappointed at not getting an answer.

_**aliengirl13: **_**…**

"Oh God, not this chick again." April moaned once the mist had formed her name. Goldenbloom glared at her and held a finger to her lips.

"Let them finish." The unicorn insisted.

_**aliengirl13: **_**Favorite things about Donnie (please include at least ONE physical trait) **

"Oh, okay." April declare, "That's not _so _bad. Well, let's see…intelligence, for sure. I'm pretty sure you have a motherboard for a brain, Donnie."

Donnie beamed and turned dark red. April continued unfazed, "Kindness and friendliness, definitely. Um…helpfulness...is that even a word?"

Donnie nodded and glanced away. His face was a shade of red not humanely possible for the body to turn. Wait…turtle…riiiiight.

"For physical traits, martial arts skills…would that count at a physical trait?" April asked.

"Yes." Donnie answered.

"No." Goldie answered.

"Well, does the fact that you're a mutant count as a physical trait?" April asked, "Because, even though it's a tragedy you guys were mutated, I just feel so…I don't know, _lucky_, that I get to be your guys' friend. Plus turtles are such cute little animals!"

"I say that's a physical trait." Donnie decreed.

"I say it's not." Goldenbloom decreed, "Be more specific! You could've said that for any of them!"

The embarrassed look on Donnie's face became even worse. "Well…I like your diastemic…ness." April declared.

Donnie beamed. "Thanks!" he cheered.

"That's all fine and good, April, but what does that mean in _English_?" Goldie asked, "Not everyone here speaks Smart Person." She coughed and muttered, "Mikey."

"Diastema." Donnie explained, "The gap between my teeth."

The audience nodded and murmured understandingly. "Aww!" Goldenbloom exclaimed, "That's so CUTE!" She shook herself and stated, "Okay. We have one more."

_**aliengirl13: **_**Show EVERYONE your ID, you know the one where you had glasses and braces**

April moaned. "Unnngh. Alright, alright." She glanced around. "Where's my purse?"

"Oh yeah. We took that too." Goldie proclaimed, "Placidus!"

The unicorn trotted out with the ID card between his teeth. He spat it onto Goldenbloom's empty palm and walked away.

"Placidus." April asked, desperately trying to change the subject, "What does _that _name mean?"

"Latin for quiet." Goldie replied noncommittally, staring intently at the card. She tossed it in the air, and it burst into a cloud of pink smoke. April breathed a sigh of relief at its vanishing, only to make a squeaky noise when the image appeared enlarged on the curtains hiding the back of the stage.

Goldie giggled and clapped her hands, spinning around. "TA-DA!" she cheered. Randomly she announced, "I love how this stage is like an Oreo. A layer of curtains, a section for people to act and stuff, and then another layer of curtains. The stage is a cookie!" She giggled and clapped again.

"Okay, the stage is a cookie; now _PLEASE _take that picture down!" April begged.

"It's not as bad as you think, April." Donnie consoled. April snorted disbelievingly.

"But not everyone's seen it yet!" Goldie protested, "Oh, Madelyn! Take a break for a second!"

"Can't!" Madelyn answered.

"Why so?" Goldie asked.

"Because I…am…DONE!" she exclaimed, hurriedly finishing. She hopped off Raph's lap and joyfully said, "You look so pretty, Mr. Red!"

"Oh, yay." He decreed sarcastically, "Thank you, Madelyn."

Raph's cheeks and a good portion of his forehead were painted with a bright pink blush. The eye-shadow was a ruby red with lime accents. Madelyn had used black eyeliner and used a maroon one to draw lips on his mouth, which she colored in with dark red lipstick. Two right pink hearts were drawn with lipstick under the blush on his cheeks, and a lavender-winged butterfly sat on the corner of his eye, reaching its wings far across his face. A big aqua bow had been doodled atop his head, the ribbons cascading down the back of his head.

"Hmph." April announced, "Suddenly I'm not so concerned about my picture."

Randomly a bunch of humanoid unicorns in black suits ran out from offstage, along with a few who dropped on ropes from ceilings. Some normal four-legged unicorns with black suits and dark sunglasses to match their humanoid companions joined the fray.

Four of the beefiest humanoid unicorns grabbed Goldie's arms and hoisted her off the ground, her rounded little feet a half-foot away from the ground.

"Hey!"

"What's going on?!"

"What in the…"

"It's like the unicorn Secret Service or something…"

The cast of My Mr. Turtle shrieked as they were caught up in a swarm of black-clad equestrians, and powerless to do anything about it. Goldie swung back and forth, seemingly okay with the chaos.

Just as suddenly as it had started, the pandemonium stopped. But now tuxedo-ed unicorns lined the back of the stage and guarded the exits. One human-icorn each stood behind the chairs of the turtles, April, and Madelyn, who had been chained in her chair once more. Tacitus, Placidus, and three other gray-pelted unicorns were shepherded into a line on the floor in front of the stage, one black-suited unicorn of the four-legged variety on each side.

Goldenbloom was still suspended in the air, guarded by two humanoid unicorns behind her and two traditional unicorns in front of her, all in black suits and sunglasses of course. Nothing could be heard but the whimper of a few unicorns in the audience who had picked the wrong time to decide they needed to go to the bathroom.

"We finally got her!" someone offstage cried. Hoof-sounds were heard, as if they were planning to run on stage, but they suddenly stopped.

"_Careful_, Little Spark Atom. She's dangerous. That flower of hers…" another voice reprimanded.

"I know, Solar Storm Cloud, but they've got her guarded!" the first voice responded. A burnt orange unicorn with a strangely cut white-and-electric-blue mane raced onto stage. His mane hung over the side of his head, as opposed to running down its neck; it covered one side of his face. It had electric blue eyes and wore a white lab coat.

Goldenbloom shrieked and struggled against her restrainers, who stubbornly held her arms against their chests. She settled for drawing her feet up against her chest so that she hung between the unicorns in a tight ball.

Two humanoid unicorns strolled out of stage right, following Little Spark Atom. The one in front had a stark white pelt, a long lime green mane that ran in a straight line down his back, a matching tail that curled like a whip and reached to the knee, and brown eyes.

The one behind had a tan pelt, a chocolate brown curly ponytail that hung to the waist, a silky chocolate tail styled like Goldie's, and rust red eyes. She clutched a clipboard. They both wore white lab coats.

At their appearance, Goldie began screaming. "No! NO! The white coats! The white coats!" she cried, "Don't take me back to the padded room! I won't go! I won't!"

"Calm down, Goldenbloom." The green-maned unicorn said evenly.

Goldenbloom kicked her feet wildly and screamed at unbearably high pitches. "Would someone PLEASE explain what's going on?" Raph asked.

"Goldenbloom is an escapee from the Unicornia Hospital for the Criminally Insane." Green-mane proclaimed, "We've been searching for her for months."

"How did you find me?!" Goldenbloom screeched, still floundering futilely.

Green-mane chuckled. "Now why would we tell you that?"

The reflective horse shrieked and wriggled. "Let me GO, Solar Storm Cloud!" she shouted.

"Nice to see you remember my name, Goldenbloom." Solar Storm Cloud decreed, "I'm assuming you remember Roving Mars as well."

Goldie stopped struggling long enough to spit at Roving Mars' feet. Roving Mars stepped back, snorted, and scrawled on her clipboard. She waved at the guards. "Take her away." She stated.

"NO!" Goldenbloom wiggled more furiously, occasionally bending up to kick her guards in the face. Randomly, the stage went up in a huge pink mushroom cloud. When the smoke dissipated, all but Goldie were in a hacking fit. She raced off stage and waved at the unicorns with her magic flower. "Nyah nyah nyah boo boo! You can't catch me" she laughed.

"Get her!" Little Spark Atom shouted.

The many black-suited horses chased after Goldenbloom, who was now running down an aisle way. "We will return shortly after these messages!" she yelled, "Tacitus, Placidus, Atilano, Tacita, and Antanas! Move out!"

"What do those names even mean?!" Mikey cried.

Leo sighed and mumbled, "Leave it to Mikey to focus on name meanings when there's a psychotic criminal running around…"

"Silent, quiet, he who walks with difficulty, silent again, and I don't know!" Goldenbloom answered, "Now would be a good time for those messages!"

* * *

A unicorn stared at her reflection. The reflection had a pouty face. "Being the princess of Unicornia is soooo _hard_!" the unicorn whined. She brought up a hoof and pulled at the skin under her eye. "I barely sleep at all!" she exclaimed, "It's a wonder I don't have bags under my eyes!"

She brought down her hoof and nudged a vial with her nose. "Luckily, I have Grazi-Gorgeous."

The unicorn spun around and began speaking to the camera. "Hello. I'm Mille Grazie, princess of Unicornia."

The image shifted to a photo of her standing on a balcony in a long flowing dress, blowing kisses with her fore-hoof. It switched another time to her shaking hooves with a unicorn in a large gold crown and gaudy cape. Yet again it switched to the princess sitting at a candlelit desk, opening a book with a fraying cover that read 'Histories of Unicornia: The Era of the Pegasi'. The whole time, Mille Grazie was speaking. "Whether I'm addressing my subjects, speaking with foreign dignitaries, or refreshing my knowledge of Unicornian history…" she said, "It seems like I'm always busy."

The screen showed Mille Grazie laying on her bed with her head dangling over the edge. Her mane was in a tangled mess and her pelt wasn't much better. A sleep mask covered her eyes, but you could see dark purple smudges underneath the edges. "Plus to add to that, I'm not exactly a morning unicorn."

A close-up of the earlier vial was shown. A headshot of the princess was on the label, along with the words 'Grazi-Gorgeous! You're Only One Step Away from being Mille-Magnificent!'

"Without my Grazi-Gorgeous, I'd be a mess!" Mille Grazie proclaimed in a voiceover, "With it, I can get straight to my duties!"

She appeared with a grin, looking at the bottle. "Without it, a mess; with it, a princess." She repeated, "Grazi-Gorgeous! For when life catches up to you."

Mille Grazie winked.

* * *

Goldenbloom was back on stage, kicking at the black-clad unicorns around her. "Hiiiiii-yah!" she cried. She viciously chopped at the guards around her.

Roving Mars came up behind her with a long white needle, which she stabbed between Goldie's shoulder blades. Goldie arched her back and yelped, scrabbling at her back.

"Take the hibiscus, Little Spark Atom." Solar Storm Cloud stated. Little Spark Atom leapt up and bit at the vines around her wrist repeatedly until Matilda dropped off. Solar Storm Cloud scooped up the flower and held it up. Pink smoke tendrils wrapped around Goldie's wrists and created handcuffs.

"No! You can't do this! I have _rights_!" Goldie cried, surging against her bonds. Roving Mars sighed, tossed her clipboard to Solar Storm Cloud, and grabbed Goldie's wrists, pulling her backwards.

"Come on, Goldenbloom." She declared, dragging her offstage.

Goldenbloom surged forward again. "Dragonblooded does not own Expo, My Mr. Turtle, TMNT…" she shouted. Roving Mars tugged at her again, but Goldie dug in her heels. "…or the Oreo company!" she finished.

"Come ON, Goldenbloom!" Roving Mars shouted.

"NO!" Goldenbloom squealed, kicking her feet as the humanoid unicorn toted her out of sight. From a distance, her voice called, "HAPPY JUNE FOURTH TO ALL, AND TO ALL, A GOOD NIGHT!"

The black-clad horses flied out of the two exits, one lab-coated unicorn ending each line.

"What was that about?" Leo asked.

Raph shrugged. "Don't know." He said, "I'm more concerned with what Madelyn did to my face."


	3. Dramatic Returns and Dumb Applause Signs

The cameras flicked onto show the six hostage/guests idly whistling, swinging their feet, and chatting amongst themselves.

"Soo. What do we do now?" April asked, "Our captor has gone missing, yet we're still chained to metal chairs."

The characters onstage immediately hushed and assumed thoughtful faces. "Well, why don't we ask one of those gray horses that are always around?" Mikey suggested.

April lit up. "Great idea, Mikey!" she exclaimed.

"A sentence never before heard in all of time." Raph grumbled.

April's grin slowly vanished. She stuttered, "Uh…can anyone remember…the horses'…names?"

"Ooh, ooh! Tacitus! There's one named Tacitus!" Mikey shouted, "Tacitus. Hehe. Such a funny name."

"Man, you're on a roll, Mikey!" April decreed happily. Then she loudly called, "TACITUS!"

A charcoal-pelted crimson-maned unicorn cantered onstage. He cocked his head. The look on his face showed no emotion, except perhaps slight irritation.

"Tacitus, could you let us out of our chairs?" April politely asked.

Tacitus shook his head. "Why not?" Raph demanded. The equestrian merely shook his head again and pawed at the stage floor with one hoof.

"Does he look uncomfortable to anyone?" Donnie muttered to Leo. Leo shrugged; well, as best as one can shrug in a manacle-chair.

"Aren't you going to answer?" Raph inquired, "Y'know, aloud? Speaking? That sort of thing?"

Tacitus frowned, shook his head a third time, and walked off stage in what appeared to be an annoyed manner.

"O…kay…can anyone remember a _different _horse's name?" April asked.

Thinking caps were put back on. Randomly, Madelyn (whom everyone had forgot was present), declared, "Tacita. One of the unicorns is named Tacita."

April jumped at her sudden speaking but called out Tacita nonetheless. The unicorn walked on stage and inclined an eyebrow ridge.

"Heeey…weren't you just out here?" Mikey asked.

Tacita hung his head in an exasperated manner and shook it. "They all look the same, Mikey." Leo explained.

"Ohhh." Mikey replied. Raph groaned, and Tacita smiled in an understanding manner.

"So, Tacita, can YOU let us out?" Leo asked. Tacita shook his head and shrugged in an apologetically.

"What, you're not gonna talk either?" Raph questioned. Tacita shrugged again and trotted away, making Raph groan loudly.

After he left, Donnie made a loud comprehensive/frustrated noise and facepalmed, hitting his head against his chained hand. "THAT'S why they wouldn't respond!" he announced, "Both of their names mean 'silent'!"

"Ohhh." Four of those trapped on stage chorused.

"NOW you tell me." Raph muttered angrily.

"It makes perfect sense! I mean, the names even sound the same!" Donnie added.

"Well, there's three more. We should be able to get a response from one of them." April declared logically.

Leo pointed out, "One of them is named Placidus."

At the mention of the name, another hoary unicorn plodded out. He smiled warmly at the captives. "I'm guessing that would be you?"

Placidus nodded and moved his mouth. A short whispery sound reminiscent of a sudden gust of near-silent wind came from him.

"Can _you _let us out?" Raph asked, mentally expecting the little horse to silently refuse like all the others.

Instead he opened and closed his mouth in a long pantomime of a speech, emitting soft barely-hearable whispers. When he had finished, Donnie asked, "Your name means 'quiet', doesn't it?" Placidus nodded. The stage members collectively groaned.

"Thank you, Placidus. You can go back to…wherever now." April decreed in an appreciative voice, even though Placidus hadn't helped at all. Placidus smiled sorrowfully and galloped off. April continued to keep a happy-go-lucky attitude and chirped, "Okay! That leaves two more!"

A loud giggle emanated from offstage. One of the charcoal-colored horses pranced onstage. Raph looked the unicorn up and down. "Which one are you?" he asked, his tone indicating that he didn't care, which he really didn't.

The unicorn giggled again, not a little laugh, but a real high-pitched girly giggle. "I'm Antanas!" He cheered. When he received a look of confusion and disinterest, he tacked on, "No one knows what my name means, so we're all good!"

April beamed at the sugar-happy unicorn. "Can you release us, dear?" she asked.

"'Fraid not, Miss April!" he chirped.

The redhead's face fell. "Well…" she murmured discordantly.

"Why the heck not?!" Donnie finished for her.

The red-maned horse laughed again. In an overly sweet voice, he cried, "'Cause I'm not a deer!" He broke down into a giggle fit and galloped offstage exuberantly.

April sighed. "I'm starting to feel really stupid." She grumbled bitterly.

Antanas laughed squeakily offstage. "It's a Truth or Dare show!" he exclaimed, "The whole point is to make you look stupid!"

"Yeah, I guess being humiliated by a quartet of unicorns and being faced with the possibility of forever being shackled to a chair would make one feel idiotic." Mikey declared. The educated statement earned him four wide-eyed gazes and the attention of a bored seven-year-old who had nothing better to do.

Donnie blinked twice and returned his attention to April. "Don't worry, April!" he reassured, "We've only talked to four of them. There's five total. There has to be _one_ reasonable and logical creature in the batch."

April looked at him doubtfully. "Do you think there's a reasonable, logical creature in Goldenbloom's family?" she asked.

"No…I mean yes!...I mean…" Donnie stuttered, "That's not the point here!"

"Excuse me?" a meek voice offstage asked, "I heard you were calling out all of us…um…servants, I guess. I'm the last one." The fifth gray-pelted-scarlet-maned unicorn hobbled out slowly. He touched his right forehoof to the ground only in second-long bursts and dragged it softly along with him.

He chuckled politely. "I have to apologize for my cohorts." He stated, "Tacitus and Tacita are self-induced mutes, Antanas always acts like he's on a sugar high, and to hear Placidus you have to stick your ear right next to his mouth." The equestrian made a face. "I don't recommend doing it. Anyway, it seems like the only sane one of us is me."

Donnie gave April an 'I told you so' look. April gave Donnie a 'You cut it out before I slap the smug right off your face' look. Donnie gave April a 'But you don't have use of your hands' look. April gave Donnie an 'I will find a way, Donatello; trust me' look.

"Stop it with the stupid 'look' stuff!" Raph shouted.

"_Anyway_, can you let us out…y'know, since our hostess was abducted and stuff." April questioned.

The horse's face fell. "I wish I could, but…uh…" he began. Suddenly, a high-pitched explosion combined with the sound effect used for fairy giggles emanated from stage left. "Bye!" the horse shouted, cantering offstage as fast as his three fully working legs could take him.

"What are you up to, Atilano?" a horribly familiar voice asked.

"No…way…" Mikey said in awe.

Leo moaned, "Not again."

A humanoid unicorn with a gold pelt and a mauve-and-kelly green ponytail hopped on stage. "Hellllloo people of our undisclosed location!" she announced. The audience applauded boisterously at her return, whooping and cheering. Goldenbloom bowed and blew kisses with Matilda, calling, "Thank you, thank you, I love you all!"

"Isn't that the same thing she said when this whole circus started?" Donnie muttered to April. The redhead shrugged.

"Well, it took you long enough!" Raph shouted, "I mean, we got through a thousand words before you got here!"

Goldenbloom smiled at the turtle. "Aww, sounds like somebody missed me!" she cooed, which of course, caused Raph to sputter indignantly. She laughed at his embarrassment.

"Weren't you…commandeered?" Leo asked. Goldenbloom nodded. He inquired, "Did you, um, escape…again?"

"Yep." The bronzy unicorn chirped.

"How?" Donnie asked.

Mikey declared, "I bet the squirrels with lasers helped her."

"Not…exactly." She replied, "Let's just say that Solar Storm Cloud, Roving Mars, and Little Spark Atom are guests on the show now." Goldie snapped. "TACITA! PLACIDUS! ATILANO!"

Two of the gray servants rolled out large metal trays with tiny black wheels carrying chairs containing two very displeased occupants. The third, Atilano, by the look of his foot, pushed out a wheeled tray with an orange horse standing directly on it, the thick metal manacles around each of his ankles chained to the corners of the plate.

Little Spark Atom rocked back and forth atop his tray and stamped his feet. "Let us go!" he yelled.

Goldenbloom crossed her arms. "Saying that won't help." She decreed, "Raph already tried it."

"What baffles me is how you managed to resist the tranquilizer for so long…" Roving Mars stated in an official tone, seemingly impervious to the fact that she was chained to a seat by a unicorn possessing magic powers that had been proven insane.

Donnie cocked his head. "Tranquilizer?"

"Yes, the pink needle I injected along her spine." Roving Mars answered, "By the time Goldenbloom had fallen asleep, we had already dragged her outside and she had already tied us up. It wasn't until she woke about a half-hour ago that she put us in these wretched contraptions."

Goldenbloom waved her hand and declared, "Alright, we've heard enough of your scientific gobbledygook. Tacita and co., take 'em away." One of the unicorns nodded and dragged his victim offstage.

"How do you tell 'em apart?" Mikey asked, "They're like twins…times five!" Madelyn nodded.

"Oh, I don't." Goldie replied, "I just call their names and hope they know which one's them."

She clapped. "But we're not here to talk science junk or creepy unicorn twins. We're here to talk Mr. Turtle!" She dramatically paused. Leo looked around in fright at the use of his pseudonym; Madelyn glared at the gold-pelted creature that had dared to use _her _name for Leo, _HER _name. Goldenbloom ignored the alarm and hatred caused by her and announced, "Because this is My Mr. Turtle Truth or Dare!"

The unicorns in the audience were dead silent. Mikey attempted a horrible imitation of a cricket, while Madelyn resorted to saying, "Cricket. Cricket."

"What? _Why aren't you people clapping?!_" Goldenbloom shrieked. She stomped to the side of the stage ands glared at the 'Applause' sign. A few of the letters on the sign had shut off, spelling a new word.

"-P-AUSE"

Goldie gaped at the sign. "What?! NO! Do not pause!" she yelled at the sign, "Stop being stupid! Change it back!" The sign flickered and swapped its letters again.

"APPL-E"

"No, I do not want an apple!" Goldie shouted.

"-U-"

"-L-USE"

The puce-eyed unicorn glared at the sign. "That's not even how you spell 'lose'." She pointed out.

The sign lit up the very top dot in the peak of the 'A' and the dot in the center of the horizontal line so that it read this:

":P-"

Goldie pointed at the sign and angrily promised, "This is NOT over."

She turned her attention to the surreptitious camera and declared, "Okay, before we humiliate some mutants and their human companion, I have some announcements. First, there will be no song dares today!"

"WOOHOO!" Mikey shouted.

"Yes!" Leo declared triumphantly.

"Thank the heavens." Donnie stated.

Raph opened his mouth, most likely to make some smart remark, but Goldenbloom interrupted and whined, "You didn't let me finish!"

Raph shut his mouth with a snap, sensing a plot twist. "There will be no song dares today _BECAUSE _the fifth…episode? fic?...will be dedicated _solely _to song dares! Yay!"

The captives groaned. Goldie clarified, "This includes dance-song dares, like the Cupid Shuffle and the Cha-Cha Slide and stuff. Like, for example, Leo will be doing the Macarena!"

The turtle in question blanched.

"In conclusion, SEND IN SONG DARES, PEOPLE! I would like one song per…guest…at the minimum." the bronzy humanoid decreed, "Otherwise…" She rubbed her hands together ominously, "I will have to choose the playlist myself."

"I don't know which scares me more: her, or these people that keep daring us." Raph decreed.

"Anyway, next announcement!" Goldenbloom stated, "I would like to address some comments."

On cue, Matilda oozed sparkle smoke and wrote across the curtains of the auditorium/prison.

_**aliengirl13: **_**…**

"Oh gosh no." April breathed. Raph growled spitefully.

"Oh shut up. The comment is for me." Goldie decreed, "Whiny-butts."

_**aliengirl13: **_**No, not Goldie!**

Goldenbloom grinned and said, "Thank you for your concern, but as you can see, I am perfectly fine. It's gonna take more than a few scientists to lock me up!"

"That's a shame." Raph mumbled.

Matilda's wisps wound their way up towards the curtains. Along the way, they slapped Raph across the face.

_**Guest: …**_

"Oh my goodness, what an original name!" Raph exclaimed, the sarcasm pouring out of his voice.

Tiny smoke curls floated from Matilda's stybus threateningly.

_**Guest: **_**you should make the cover image a pic of raph in his makeup!**

"NO! No way! Not happening! I washed that stuff off!" Raph immediately protested.

In response, Goldenbloom cheered, "Yes! Yes please! That should happen! And _who let you wash that off_?!" She cleared her throat and said, "_Anyway_, I would love love LOVE if someone could draw that for me! Pretty _pretty _please! I will pay you!...in Uni-coins!"

"And I will pay you in Canadian quarters that fell through the grate!" Mikey added.

"Not if I strangle you first I won't…" Raph grumbled threateningly.

"Children, children! No fighting!" Goldenbloom reprimanded brusquely. She clapped twice and the words vanished, only to be replaced by the evil 'Apritello Kiss Dares' whiteboard rising from the stage floor.

"Now, if my calculations are correct, the stats are still the same…" Goldie muttered half to herself, "And I'm not going to make them kiss again; that would just be redundant."

"Oh my goodness! Goldenbloom is capable of mercy!" Donnie exclaimed. April gasped loudly. Goldenbloom rolled her eyes and snapped, sending the T-chart underground once more.

She suddenly looked alarmed. "Holy crap, a two-thousand word introduction! I better get my crap together!" She clapped in a business-like manner. "Okay, one more thing."

Goldie cast an irritated look in the camera's direction. "You are barely requesting ANY guest stars! I mean, what's the use of having them all trapped backstage if you aren't going to make them do stuff!" she yelled, "I have had _one _direct request for a guest star! _ONE!_ Speaking of which…"

Matilda puffed out her baby pink glitter vapors, which wound their way into long cursive scrawling before evaporating, leaving black words behind them.

_**LeoFan: **_**Can Captain Ryan come?! Pleeease? **

"Wow. A dare that isn't humiliating." Donnie decreed, "Nice."

"Don't get too comfortable." Goldenbloom warned.

Madelyn asked, "Is Captain Ryan really coming?! _Really?!_"

April sighed inwardly, preparing for a possible tantrum, and began explaining, "Madelyn, Captain Ryan is a TV character. _Obviously _he can't come and appear on a-"

Goldie held up a non-flowered hand. "Let me stop you there, April." She stated, "You are sitting here before an audience of unicorns, who are also TV characters. I myself am a TV character. Therefore, your explanation is null and void. Now, without anything further ado, CAPPPTAAAIIINN RYYYYAAANNN!"

The audience clapped wildly, as the 'Applause' sign had gotten its act together…momentarily. Nothing momentous occurred. Goldenbloom sighed and shouted, "Placidus!"

The gray unicorn in question grunted softly as he rolled out a platform carrying none other than the famed Captain Ryan. Dressed in his traditional yellow shirt, his black bead eyes surveyed his surroundings with curiosity, attentiveness, and contemplation, but not a drop of fear.

Donnie raised an eyebrow ridge. Mikey grinned ear to ear and continuously looked back and forth from Ryan to Leo. April happily observed Madelyn, whose face had lit up like a thousand-watt light bulb.

Leo's jaw dropped in a way only physically capable of cartoon characters. He shook himself, shut his mouth, and sat up straight and proud…only to have his mouth fall right back open again.

Placidus shoved the chair off the wheelie-tray, eliciting an 'oomph' from the occupant, and left. Goldenbloom giggled and ran over to the captain. "Pleased to meet you, Captain!" she exclaimed, extending her hand to shake, "Thank you for coming!...not that you had a choice in the matter…hehe…"

Captain Ryan, who had been scanning the area distractedly, focused his attention on the metallic unicorn standing over him. "Pleased to meet you as well, Miss." He replied politely. He attempted to accept her handshake, but couldn't reach his hand far enough from the manacle, so he resorted to a respectful nod of the head.

"No need for formalities, Captain." Goldie decreed, "My name is Goldenbloom."

"Pleased to meet you, Goldenbloom." Captain Ryan decreed. He glanced around awkwardly before saying, "It is my duty to ask you, are you _truly _a horse, miss Goldenbloom?"

Goldenbloom snorted, "A unicorn, sir, not a horse." She blew her bangs out of her eye (which immediately fell right back in place).

"For who have you captured me, Goldenbloom? Hypnotica? The Cortexicons? The Panicons?" Captain Ryan demanded, leaning forward against his bonds, "Perhaps the accursed Trumplets?"

"Trumplets!" Madelyn cheered, "Those things are so _cute_!"

Captain Ryan observed the little girl calmly. Madelyn met his gaze and resisted the urge to squeal very loudly.

"No, sir, no alien connections here. I'm not an alien." Goldie explained, "Anyway, Cap'n, we have a request to make. After that you can go back..." In a softer voice, she added, "…stage."

Without even a puff of smoke, the words covering the curtains changed.

_**LeoFan: **_**If yes, then I want his autograph!**

"Hmph." Raph announced in surprise, turning to his brother, "I guess you aren't the only one head-over-heels in love with this stupid show, Leo!"

Leo regained composure long enough to stick his tongue out at Raph. Raph retorted, "Looks like hanging out with a little girl all the time has been affecting you, Leo."

"Shh shh shh shh!" Goldenbloom hissed angrily. She cast them a final glare before declaring, "Now everyone, put your hooves together for…"

The audience started applauding emphatically. Goldie shot them a confused look. "Umm…I haven't told you who it is yet." She pointed out. The unicorns continued to clap and stomp their hooves. The bronzy hostess sighed and shot a glance at the rebelliously annoying 'Applause' sign. Sure enough, it had turned itself on.

"…LeoFan!" Goldie finished. Instantaneously, the crowd quieted. "Of course they did…" Goldenbloom grumbled.

A pale teenage girl with brown hair in possibly the shortest existing braid ever edged out from stage right. She wore blue-and-white traditional Converse tennis shoes and a blue headband right along her hairline with two eyeholes cut in it. The girl wore a white T-shirt with lettering on it, but it couldn't be read due to the Space Heroes notebook she was clutching tightly against her chest.

LeoFan scanned slowly over the half-dozen before her. She beamed at Madelyn, April, Donnie, and Mikey, stuck her tongue out at Raph, and paled the second she spotted Leo. The grip on her notebook tightened, and soon all exposed skin was snow white. She glanced away and scurried over to where Ryan sat. She presented the notebook and a black marker to him. "Could I please have your autograph?!" she begged, "I am your BIGGEST fan…next to Leo, that is."

Leo grinned and said, "Guilty as charged."

Captain Ryan smiled at her, and politely declared, "Miss, I can't exactly uncap the marker." He rattled his hand in his chains.

"Oh, right. You can't, can you?" LeoFan answered with a laugh, "Still can't believe I'm getting an autograph from _the _Captain Ryan!" She uncapped the marker, handed it to him, and held the notebook. The starship captain scrawled his name across the cover and handed the fangirl her marker. LeoFan began pouring her thanks, but suddenly stopped. The cartoony glowing light bulb could literally be seen floating above her head. She opened the notebook and whispered excitedly to the captain, who complied and signed three pages as well.

LeoFan gently creased and tore out the pages. She skipped happily over to Madelyn and set an autographed piece of notebook paper on her lap. It read "To Space Cadet Madelyn, It is nice to know that I have such loyal compatriots fighting the Cortexicons alongside me. Captain Ryan" Madelyn stared at the paper for a long silent minute before letting out an ear-piercing wail that had everyone in the vicinity shying away.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" the little girl cried, bouncing in her seat.

"You're welcome you're welcome you're welcome!" LeoFan chirped, matching her happy tone. She hugged Madelyn.

The brunette walked behind the row of seats to Raph and let a sheet drift onto his head. Raph sighed and asked, "_Why _have you given me this?"

"Come on, Raph." LeoFan giggled, nudging his shoulder, "Y'know you want one."

"I know I want you to shut up." He retorted.

"You better be nice." LeoFan decreed, "I can dare you to do horrible things." She grinned maliciously and walked away before he could answer. She dropped the last paper on Leo's lap.

He looked up at her, grinned eagerly, and exclaimed, "Thank you so much!" In response, LeoFan kissed him smack on the lips and sprinted offstage.

Goldenbloom snorted. "Good riddance. She was taking too long anyway."

Leo looked at her in confusion. Goldie said, "Oh yeah, the kiss thing." She prodded one of Matilda's petals. The puce hibiscus sent tendrils of smoke dancing across the words, changing them once more.

_**LeoFan: **_**Leo: Question…can I kiss you?**

"Well, it seems that question has been answered." Leo muttered, blushing at the floor.

Goldie clapped. "Ryan, you're free to go." She declared. Three of the gray unicorns came out, heaved the chair onto their backs, and toddled backwards offstage. Once they were out of sight, there was a loud crash and a high-pitched yelp.

Goldenbloom regarded the area with a wary eye and stated, "Alright, since we seem to be having so much luck messing with Leo, I'm going to make the next dare to you!"

"Oh. How…fun?" Leo said.

"It is fun! For me!" Goldie giggled, "Now please turn your faces to the big group of words."

_**bethysue382: …**_

"Cool!" Mikey exclaimed, "That rhymes!"

Goldenbloom facepalmed. "Mikey, the whole point of that name is for it to rhyme."

"Ohhh."

_**bethysue382: **_**Leo, state your feelings about Karai, leaving in all the mushy marshmallows from a bowl of lucky charms. **

All eyes turned to Leo, who looked like he had swapped his head with a giant tomato and then drawn a face on it. "What do Lucky Charms have to do with anything?" Madelyn asked, seemingly oblivious to the present humiliation occurring.

"It's a metaphor, Madelyn." April explained.

"What's a metaphor?" Maddie asked.

"The figurative language of the truth isn't important." Goldie announced, "What's important is that Leo starts talking."

Leo graduated from tomato to red delicious apple. "Karai…Karai is...umm…uhh…she's…uhh…" he stuttered.

"Now you see what I have to deal with." Donnie groaned.

"Leo, you have ten seconds to stat talking before I have the omnipresent narrator read your inner thoughts." Goldenbloom threatened.

"OKAY! Okay! I'll talk!" Leo shouted in a panicked tone. Goldie looked at him expectantly. Leo sighed. "I have a crush on Karai."

Mikey gasped really loudly. April frowned disappointedly. Madelyn giggled and softly started singing, "Karai and Mr. Turtle sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S…" Raph and Donnie didn't react in the slightest.

"Leo, everyone knew that." Goldie declared, "Where are the marshmallows?!"

"Huh?" Leo asked.

"It's a metaphor!" Goldie shouted. She took deep breaths and said in a soothing voice, "Okay. Okay. It's all good. Now for goodness sake, Leo, tell us something we don't already know!"

Leo flinched and asked, "Would it help if I said I have a really big crush on Karai?"

Mikey gasped again, causing Raph to shake his head. Madelyn continued singing unabashedly. "It would help, but it's nowhere near getting you out of this." Goldie proclaimed.

The blue-banded mutant stared at the ground, sweeping his foot back and forth across the hardwood stage. "When…" He cleared his throat awkwardly. "When I see Karai, logic and reason go out the window. It doesn't matter whether she's smiling back at me or holding a tanto blade against my throat. I'm happy to see her no matter what." He paused and his gaze momentarily darted up from the floor. "I still have her knife. I stretched out my katana sheath a little so I could fit it alongside my sword."

Goldie looked surprised by his willingness to talk. She snapped her fingers. "Tacitus, bring his katana." She declared. The corresponding animal trotted onstage with two big red handles protruding from the side of his mouth. Goldenbloom thanked him and took the swords. She slid one from its casing and peered inside. The unicorn replaced the sword and removed the other one. Laying the blade on the floor, she reached inside the sheath and delicately pulled out a red-and-black tanto knife by the blade.

"Aww." The audience chorused.

"Mr. Turtle has a girlfriend?" Madelyn asked, looking at the turtle in question.

Leo blushed once more. "She's not my girlfriend." He muttered unconvincingly.

"And now, since Leo has been emotionally and mentally embarrassed, we must mess with him physically!" Goldie cheered. Matilda quickly whipped up a loopy dare.

_**aliengirl13: **_**…**

"I'm done for." Leo declared.

"Have you no _soul_?!" April cried.

"I don't need a soul." Goldenbloom chirped, "I'm not a jazz artist!" The audience laughed awkwardly until the 'Laugh at Goldenbloom's Lame Jokes' sign flickered off. "Hmm." The equestrian stated, "It seems all of the signs in the studio are broken."

Leo rolled his eyes.

_**aliengirl13: **_**Juggle you katanas.**

Of course, Donnie immediately pointed out the two typos, causing his fellow prisoner/guests to moan loudly and Goldie to launch into a complex debate with him over whether or not 'katanas' was an accurate plural form of 'katana'.

Leo laughed. "That's all?" he asked, "I do this all the time!" He glanced down and added, "Just not with my hands chained to chairs." The crowd responded accurately to the lighting of the 'Laugh at Leo's Lame Jokes' sign.

"Okay. I guess one of the signs is working." Goldie decreed.

"Hey!" Leo shouted indignantly.

Goldie rolled her eyes and flicked her flower-wrapped hand. The four restraints of the chair vanished. "Catch." She stated the second Leo got to his feet. He deftly caught one of his blades in each hand. Madelyn breath hitched each time a blade was thrown at him.

"Hold both your swords in one hand." Goldie commanded. Leo gave her a befuddled look, then shrugged and complied. The golden humanoid hurled the tanto at him.

He caught it and said, "This isn't a katana."

"No, but you're juggling it anyway." Goldie replied, "Juggling two objects is in no way an impressive feat."

Leo shrugged again and moved to throw the small blade in the air. Goldie held up a hand to stop him, walked over to him, and hissed, "Just because I have given you your weapons and released you from your restraints does not mean you have been given a good opportunity to escape. I have guards positioned around this site that have orders to tickle you on sight, I possess a magic flower, and you have no idea where we are or how far we are from New York."

The mutant gulped, nodded, and threw the knife. The second it left his hand, circus music began to play. Madelyn and April let out little gasps as they watched him easily toss the blades around. Raph feigned disinterest, even though his eyes followed the blades' every movement. Donnie observed the spectacle with casual intrigue. Mikey snorted and muttered, "They make better pizza-cutters."

After a while, Leo stopped, caught one katana and the tanto, and stepped to the side. The other blade embedded itself in the stage floor. "And _that_," he declared, "is why I only juggle with two blades."

"That. Was." April began.

Madelyn finished, "THE COOLEST THING _EVER!_"

"There are certainly perks to having dual weapons." Donnie stated.

Raph conceded and said, "Nice job on not killing yourself, Leo."

"I try." Leo answered.

Goldie applauded, walked over to Leo, and snatched the swords out of his hold. He grasped at air and looked at the girl confusedly. "Ha ha!" she cheered, waving a katana tauntingly in front of his face, "You didn't really think I would be letting you keep these, did you?" With a heave, she yanked the weapon out of the ground and eyed the long hole it left. "You're paying for that." She stated before sheathing the pole arms and schlepping them offstage.

"Okay, we should have time for one or two more…" Goldenbloom muttered as Matilda wrote out the next punishment.

_**98truck: **_**everyone on stage say your favorite mutant (excluding turtles [meaning you can't say the turtles]). **

Goldie clapped excitedly (crushing Matilda in the process) and twittered, "Maddie first!"

Madelyn assumed a look of deep thought. After pondering, she asked, "I can't say Mr. Turtle, right?" Goldenbloom shook her head.

"Or Mr. Beam?"

"Nope."

"Or Mr. Red?"

"Nada."

"Or Dr. Donnie?"

"Nugatory."

"…Well…what about Mr. Bad Guy?"

"…You mean Slash."

"No, I mean Mr. Bad Guy."

"_Slash_."

"_Mr. Bad Guy_."

"Spike."

"But you said Slash."

Goldenbloom put her hands to her temples. "OKAY! Her favorite mutant is Slash!" she shouted exasperatedly.

"But it's-"

"Shshsh!" Goldie interrupted the little girl, "April?"

Having had a whole argument to ponder it, she quickly answered, "Master Splinter."

"Thank you for not taking twenty years to answer." Goldie sighed exasperatedly, "Donnie?"

Having known _his _answer since the moment the truth was first posed, he declared, "April."

April smiled. Madelyn's eyes widened. "Whaaat?!" she shouted, "April's a mutant?!"

Goldie obtained a panicky look. "Oh, crap." She said, "We accidentally broke canon." She waved her hands frantically and said in a calming voice, "Its okay, Madelyn. No one's a mutant. Except for those who are obviously mutants."

The brimming tears instantly dried as Madelyn steeled her expression. "Stop _lying _to me!" she yelled.

"No one's lying to you, Maddie!" Goldie reassured.

"Yes, they are! You are!" she protested. The bronze unicorn opened her mouth to respond, but stopped when the child took a deep breath and held it, puffing out her cheeks.

Leo's and April's eyes immediately widened as they worriedly comforted Madelyn. Raph grumbled angrily and looked away from the display. Donnie averted his eyes and winced, knowing he was incapable of solving the issue. Mikey looked alarmed as she asked, "What is she doing? Why does she look like a chipmunk with nuts in her cheeks? Why is she starting to turn blue? I don't like this. I don't like this at all."

Goldie crossed her arms. "Madelyn, this is a futile rebellion. By holding your breath you will cause yourself to pass out, therefore restarting your breathing. No fatal damage will be done, so I'm not going to take action."

The blonde determinedly held her breath for a moment longer before giving in and letting it huff out in one loud gasp. She shot an evil glare at Goldenbloom.

She ignored the glare and continued, "Leo?"

He looked at the ground miserably and said…

**WARNING**

**Spoiler alert ahead to those who are not completely and totally updated in the modern TMNT series. Seriously, if you haven't seen the latest episode 'Vengeance is Mine' in its entirety, skip ahead until you find the bolded codeword SAFETY. **

**Carry on.**

He looked at the ground miserably and said, "Karai."

The crowd once again chorused, "Aww.", but instead of an affectionate cutesy noise, it was sad and sympathetic.

"Such a tragedy." Goldie murmured.

April whipped her head around in confusion. "Did I miss something?!" she asked.

"Karai's…she…she's a snake." Leo whimpered.

The audience wailed and cried and even Goldie, the cruel mistress she was, began tearing up. Randomly, the salty drops vanished and she cheered…

**SAFETY**

She cheered, "Okay! Mikey! Your turn!"

With a grin, he cooed, "My cutesy-wootsy Ice Cream Kitty!"

"She is such a little darling." Goldie agreed, "And Raph?"

"Slash." He answered solemnly.

"No! You can't answer the same thing as someone else!" Goldenbloom shouted.

Raph retorted, "Says who?!"

"Says me!" Goldie exclaimed, "Maddie already said Slash, so pick someone else!"

"Why doesn't _she _pick someone else?!" Raph asked.

"Because you guys, April, and Slash are the only mutants she knows!" Goldie explained.

Raph shouted, "Well, have her pick someone else because I love my family and I love Spike and I don't care about any other mutants!" He immediately balked as he realized he'd said that aloud.

"Aww!" Goldie cooed with the crowd, "You're so _affectionate_, Raph!"

Madelyn raised her hand at the wrist and asked, "That creepy rat guy…the one who kidnapped me…was he a mutant?"

"Yes." Goldie answered, smiling when she saw where this was going.

"Well, I liked him." The blonde said, "I mean, it was really mean of him to kidnap me, but he had this cute little white rat that sat on his shoulder!"

"Aristotle." Donnie voiced.

Goldie nodded. "Okay, we're stopping at the 5500 word count, so we…


End file.
